An 'Afraid of Stand-Up' and 'Film Harvest' group.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

YKWBC - Country Music

Here's something from the old Film Harvest channels, circa 2002. In the same veins as Peter Griffin's "Grind My Gears" or Cinemassacre's "You Know What's bullshit", this is You Know What's Bullcrap?.  Remastered in glorious Technicolor.  -DB

You know what's a buncha crap?

Fucking country music. Yeah, the crap that comes out of your stereo when you're scanning for the rock station. You tune past all the channels, and for a spit second you hear “an' dat chicken-”. Yep, that's the country music station.

It fucking sucks. It eats shit, craps out the shit as shit, then eats that shit. And the singers: they all sound alike. It's like country music CD's should have the same labels as store-brand cereal. “Compare to the Ingredients in Fruit Loops” into “Compare to the Same Shit That Paisley Sings”.

Plus it's all about the same thing. I'm serious, this is my serious face. Here's a list of country songs about life:

“Don't Blink” - Kenny Chesney
“International” Harvester -
“Letters to Me” - Brad Paisley
“Realize” - Colbie Caillat
“Bubbly” - Colbie Caillat
“All American Girl” - Carrie Underwood
“What Kinda Gone” – Chris Cagle
“Teardrops On My Guitar” - Taylor swift
“Pictures to Burn” - Taylor Swift
“Our song” - Taylor Swift
“Famous in a Small Town” - Miranda Lambert

Here's a list of country songs about America:

"America Will Survive" - Hank Williams Jr.
"American Child" - Phil Vassar
"American Soldier" - Toby Keith
"Awful, Beautiful Life" - Darryl Worley
"Born Country" - Alabama
"Bumper of My SUV" - Chely Wright
"Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" - Toby Keith
"God Bless the USA" - Lee Greenwood
"Have You Forgotten" - Darryl Worley
"Letters From Home" - John Michael Montgomery
"Only In America" - Brooks & Dunn
"Riding With Private Malone" - David Ball
"Some Gave All" - Billy Ray Cyrus
"This Ain't No Rag (It's a Flag)" - Charlie Daniels Band
"Where the Stars and Stripes and the Eagle Fly" - Aaron Tippin

I could go on with this, but I know you're probably in as much pain as I am, so I'll leave it at that.

Oh yeah. Fuck Alan Jackson and his “Where Were You” song. “Hmm, what am I gonna do on the brink of such a major tragedy. Make a profit!”

And that's why country music is a buncha crap.

-Originally Posted by TS

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